Tag Archives: spirituality

A Confession, Apology and Update.

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A Confession:

“Therefore, prepare your minds for action, be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given to you when Jesus Christ is revealed.”

1 Peter 1:13

Self-control. This is my greatest struggle. I think that the underlying cause of all sin is selfishness. We sin because we put our own desires first; we fail to control ourselves. I am lazy, thus the name of this blog, and I struggle with motivating myself to do the things I know I should be doing. And I feel bad, guilty, ashamed but I fail to truly grasp the importance and implications of my actions (or lack of action). The verse I quoted above is really only useful if taken in context. It begins, “Therefore.” My first youth pastor always said, “If you see a ‘therefore’ in the Bible, you should ask, ‘What’s it there for?'” In this case it is there to connect the directions and guidance for living with the reason for those directions. Why do we need to be self-controlled? 1 Peter chapter one begins with Peter addressing the persecuted church scattered throughout the nations. He is talking to believers and he starts by reminding them of the hope they have in God. He reminds them of their salvation and then tells them, “Therefore, prepare your minds for action..”  The passage continues and he says in verse 17:

“Since you call on a Father who judges each man’s work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.”

1 Peter 1:17-18

My life, your life if you are a believer, has been bought, redeemed, saved. We were not purchased with money, silver or gold or any other perishable thing of this world, but with the perfect, priceless, blood of Christ. What more motivation could I possibly need to do anything?! And yet, I struggle…

I struggle with getting out of bed first in the morning when I would much rather snuggle with my handsome hubby and get a few more minutes of sleep.

I struggle with staying active and caring for my body in a way that glorifies God.

I struggle with self-control in the area of reading. I have always been a bookworm, and reading can be a great thing, but for me it is also a temptation, a way to escape into fantasy worlds and avoid dealing with the chores and day-to-day monotony of my life, a life that Christ died to give me, but I dare call boring.

I tell my husband that I would, “go anywhere for a year,” meaning a foreign mission field or California, where ever. I have always dreamed of living in a third world country and I would go in a heartbeat given the opportunity, but I can’t manage to keep up with the laundry or minister to the people in my community here. I once heard a sermon where the pastor compared our service to God to different denominations of money. He talked about giving our “quarters” and not just our “thousands.” I would give my thousands in the form of moving, leaving home and family and everything familiar, but I fail to give my quarters, the small, daily sacrifices that life is composed of.

I think the only real cure for this is a better understanding of the sacrifice made for me, for all of us. The convicting work of the Holy Spirit working in my life so that I can fully understand the importance of my actions.

I seek to serve God, please my husband and care for my family, in that order and I ask your prayers for me as I daily struggle to control my sinful self and to “live as a stranger in reverent fear.”

An Apology:

I lied to you. My last post indicated all of these great topics that I was going to write about and how I would blog once a week and it was going to be great. Well, if you read my confession above then you know that blogging is not the only thing I have not been doing that I should be. I love having this blog and the opportunity to share with the world and I hope that ya’ll benefit from my writing. I hope to write for you move often in the future, but in the meantime I hope you will forgive me for misleading you.

An Update:

Oh how time does fly. I read a quote a friend posted on Facebook the other day that said: “the days are long but the years are short.” That is exactly how I feel. Micah is incredible. He keeps me busy and I am often tired and suffer from cabin fever so that my days feel long but I can’t believe his birthday is just over a month away. No way has he been here a year already! Yet, in someways it seems like he has always been here; it’s hard to picture our family without him. Just this week he learned to clap, so that is his new favorite thing and he grins every time  waiting for me to say,”Yay!” He is super active, crawling and pulling up on everything. He has learned that he can lean against the back of our couch and then stand without holding on to anything so he can play with his toys. He is really close to walking but hasn’t yet gotten brave enough to stand on his own. I’m excited to see him grow and learn new things but I’m in no hurry for him to grow up or become any more mobile than he already is. He is so cute. I need to take some pictures and share on here. But, for now I am going to go get him; I can hear him waking up from his nap.

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Serving God, running, diapers, ipads and rolling over

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So, here is an eclectic post about recent happenings in the White household.

Serving God:

Christian and I have been really convicted recently about our lacsidaisical prayer life. We have never really made a point to pray together on a regular basis and lately, neither of us have been praying much on our own either. We have been feeling rather lost for a while; searching for purpose and trying to figure out where God is calling our family to serve. In other words, we feel like we are just existing and not doing anything to make a difference. Two Sundays ago we attended Stony Hill Baptist Church for the first time and loved it! I was comfortable leaving Micah in the nursery (really big deal!), the people were friendly and welcoming and we both felt the Sunday School lesson and sermon were written just for us. (Joshua 1 and Ecclesiastes 1) After that I attended a ladies bible study, which I wrote about and again, I felt welcomed and comfortable. The book and discussion were very relevent in my life and only served to convict me more about my lack of relationship with God. I feel that I have gotten into a rut of performing and not worshiping. Obedience is more than just not sinning…a lot more.

So, Christian and I have started doing a devotional together: “A Call to Die” by David Nasser. It is gritty and asks some tough questions while leaving you no room for excuses. We are also making a point to pray together at least once a day and I have started praying over Micah, out loud, when I put him to bed.  I am also doing an Inductive Bible study by Kay Arthur studying the pentateuch. Christian is going through “Solo” a one year long devotional which uses The Message. I already have noticed some subtle changes in how we are relating to one another. Since we are going through “A Call to Die” together and discussing all of the questions  out loud it has opened up some doors of communication that we needed to open. The book asks some very personal questions which has required us to really confess our sins and weaknesses to each other and God; a humbling and bonding experience.

We have spent a long time saying, “What does God want from our family?” We have tossed around ideas of graduate school, military service, seminary, serving over-seas, adoption/fostering and many others, some of which we have seriously persued, only to come up short either because of finances, God not opening the door or lack of serious interest. So we go through the daily grind, doing the same-old-same old and not committing to anything. I still don’t know what the big picture is for our family, but I do know that if we serve Him and make Him the focus of our little, everyday decisions, we will be serving Him. It is stupid of us to sit around waiting for a booming voice from Heaven to tell us to move to Africa, enlist or enroll. We have His Word right in front of us, why not just do what it says and wait and see how He decides to use us?

Running:

Starting this week, Christian and I are training to run a Half Marathon. However, I am the laziest person ever and seriously lack motivation, so we are starting by training for a 5k, then a 10k, then the half. I have a nicely typed out spreadsheet with all of our workouts planned for the next 20 weeks (!). Today was day 4 and, surprisingly enough, I’m really excited with how things are going! My goal is simply to finish the distance and (hopefully) lose 20-30lbs of baby weight in the process.

Diapers:

I just received an order of 16 Kiwaii cloth diapers and I am super exicted about them! The price was excellent and the reviews were encouraging, now I just have to finish pre-washing them so I try them out for myself. 🙂

iPads:

We bought one.

Rolling Over:

Micah rolled from his back to his belly for the first time this morning. He has done it twice today, but he wasn’t very happy about it. 🙂